Sometimes I get lonely…
Author: Professor Joyce Harper
These beautiful words were written by Sarah Ellis.
I get lonely because I watch TV and see a world going mad, a government intent on representing me in a way I hate and no solution.
I get lonely because I have people around me who are battling horrible illnesses and there is nothing I can do to make them better.
I get lonely because I look on Facebook and even though I am older so should know better, I still see people I know having a great time with other people I know and yet I wasn’t invited.
I get lonely because even though I run a majorly collaborative company, I spend a certain amount of time on my own, making decisions by myself.
I get lonely because there isn’t enough time to do everything.
I get lonely because the things that I am so passionate about seem so difficult to change.
I get lonely because sometimes because having a social life is difficult when people are busy or not so good at being the ones organising.
I get lonely because I feel that no matter how hard I work there are still such terrible injustices that would be stopped if prejudice was challenged more.
And I thought I would share because I am sure that in reality I am not alone in how I feel. Sending love out that to anyone else feeling lonely too.
From Joyce Harper – Are you feeling lonely? I am sure others are too.
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This is me too. I sometimes wonder if I am doing this life in the right way. I have not seen friends who live near me for ages. Sometimes I wish someone would just knock on my door and say hello. But then I am rarely at home for them to do this. For me Christmas day is one of the worst days of the year. I wish that I had a huge number of people coming over for dinner and celebration but it will just be me, the kids and my friend Donna and her son. My heart will feel heavy when I see all the photos of people having an amazing time. And the adverts on TV about Xmas are driving me crazy.
this can only be posted through having the anonymous username. I feel lonely, not just sometimes, but almost most of my life. As a young child I got a huge fear that all my family would get killed when I was away from them. It would make me cry and all the teachers and my parents would tell me was’ don’t be so ridiculous’. Then as a young teen, a stupid mistake over a friendship group meant I was on my own – very lonely, to scared to stay by myself I hid daily for 2 years in the school toilets, with crisps, chocolates and sweets for company, and then scared of getting fat, I learnt to throw it all up. then a move to another country, a brilliant few years, followed by Uni, which was the loneliest time. Nothing more lonely than being surrounded by loads of students and yet still feeling alone.
then feeling lonely in the family home, unable to tell parents about anything, for fear of either being punished or disowned.
and then finally as an adult, its very lonely watching a room of people all chatting, and standing alone, to scared, no confidence to join in. its very lonely to watch the world go by, people move on, and yet know, that you will never ever have a good/better life. Never meet anyone as to afraid to go out and meet people, never have children, as all school, uni ‘friends’ and siblings have done. it feels as if all I do is watch everyone else live a good fun life.
This breaks my heart to hear sanacn34 :(. You shouldn’t feel like you have nothing to look forward to, I’m sure you are an important part of a lot of people’s lives even if they don’t make it obvious to you. And things do get better, you don’t always have to be outgoing and confident to have friends and be loved. Have you ever thought about talking to someone professional about you feel?
I think for me Loneliness is just something I have come to accept. I don’t think it will get better. I have talked to professionals, NHS and private, but gave them up, as they both seemed to suggest, that I had to ‘just get on with things’, ‘go to a pub’, ‘meet people’, something which I cannot do. And both pushed for things to be told to my parents, something I wouldn’t do, as there would be nothing worse, than rejection by them, it is better to have some company, even if it is surface level, than nothing at all.
I long for things to change but have no real hope that they will, about as much chance of winning the lottery.
It’s difficult when healthcare professionals are dismissive like that, I’ve found a lot of them are whilst going through some health issues. There are the occasional few who are a lot more accepting and can actually be helpful though I understand your reluctance to stop trying considering your previous experiences. I also understand your reluctance to talk to your parents, there’s such a huge generation gap between myself and mine that there are issues I probably would never discuss with them as it would lead to a massive argument and they would find it difficult to empathise. That being said, there’s a lot of things I’ve accidentally told them about that they have been so accepting of when I never thought they would. Do you have any relatives that you feel comfortable talking to (perhaps cousins who are of a similar age?). If you prefer to speak to people anonymously on the internet, please know that I’m also available to talk to (I know that sometimes it’s easier to talk to people who you don’t have to see). Let me know if you want to talk and I’ll send you an email privately.
I am sorry for my late reply sanacn34. I am glad that you were able to express how you felt on Global Women but I am sorry we cannot offer more advice. Tharni has made some comments and I agree with what she has said. You must know that you are not alone. The internet can be used to make friends – even friends you do not meet in person. If there is any more support you think that we could give you – please let us know. Sending love.