Parenting books do more harm than good

Written by Dr Claire Senner

A study from the university of Swansea has indicated that new mothers would do well to steer clear of baby-care guides that advocate strict routines for feeding and sleeping. Of more than 350 women who consulted such infant parenting books, the majority found them unhelpful and reported stress, anxiety, and even depressive symptoms as a consequence.

Victoria Harries, one of the authors who carried out the study, explained “It is easy to understand the appeal of these books if you are exhausted and worried about how often your baby is waking up but almost half of mothers in the study ended up feeling frustrated and misled because they were unable to make the advice work.”

One could argue that anxious, under-confident, new parents are more likely to seek out guidance on how to look after their babies, so perhaps the association is not surprising. However, as the study authors note, these findings would support alternative sources of support for women at risk of postnatal depression, rather than unrealistic baby guides that exacerbate feelings of failure and inadequacy.

One of the most popular and controversial parenting books has been The Contented Little Baby book by Gina Ford.

Gina Ford grew up on a farm in the Scottish Borders and after studying Hotel and Catering, she joined a premier babysitting agency. On her web site she calls herself a ‘maternity nurse’ but I cannot see any signs that she has a nursing qualification. She wrote her book – The Contented Little Baby Book – in 1999 and it has sold over half a million copies. Gina has never had children but she has been a nanny for many.  She advocates that babies need a very strict routine of sleeping and feeding that is ruled by the clock, not their individual needs. So they sleep and feed at a particular time. Professor Joyce Harper from Global Women Connected read the book when she had a newborn but it went against her natural feelings ‘I watched women try to do it. Since everything is run by the clock, it was very difficult to go out as the babies were supposed to sleep in their cot, not in the car, and the routine made days out almost impossible. But for me the worst was that Gina expected the babies to sleep on their own, in their own cot, as soon as possible.  She calls this ‘from crying baby to contented baby’.  And if they cry in the night, you are not supposed to go to them – you leave them in their room, alone, for hours on end.  I do not know any other animal that leaves their newborns alone.  I think parents need to do what is right for them. Every baby is unique and every parent has their own way. Read these books if you want but do not feel pressurised to follow any advice –  make up your own mind and do what feels right for you.’

Read about the Great Gina Ford Debate here.

Dr Amy Brown, who supervised the study, suggests “…we should be thinking about how we can invest better in supporting mothers to have longer, better-paid maternity leave and more widely thinking about how we care for them. Mothering the mother is vital to her being able to care for her baby without being at increased risk of depression and anxiety.”

What do you think?  Have you followed a baby advice book and are you happy that you followed it or would you do it differently next time?

Further Reading:

Harries & A. Brown (2017): The association between use of infant parenting books that promote strict routines, and maternal depression, self-efficacy, and parenting confidence, Early Child Development and Care, DOI: 10.1080/03004430.2017.1378650.

Source and image credit:  http://www.swansea.ac.uk/media-centre/latest-research/newresearchfindslinkbetweensomebabybooksandpostnataldepression.php